Last night was one of the worst nights in memory. No hyperbole.
I loathe real life drama. I’ve had enough with my family to last three lifetimes. I steer as far away as possible. Drama belongs in movies, television, books, video games, and music.
I try to be as kind as possible to everyone.
Last night my character was not only called into question, it was dragged through the dirt.
I belong to several Facebook groups. One of them had a lady we will call Mary. She was frequently rude and made people uncomfortable. I tried to be nice to her anyway. Last week, while trying to be nice to her, she snapped, called me a c*nt, and I proceeded to report her and block her. The mods of the group didn’t do anything until Tuesday. They saw the screenshots of our conversation and banned her.
I was far from the only person to report her.
But I became the focus of her attention.
Last night, I received a message that I was being banned from the same group. For reported hate speech.
It physically hurts me that someone would say I used hate speech. Literally. It physically hurts me. Just typing it now hurts me. It’s so far from anything I believe. I believe in people coming together and kindness. I believe in all the things Mister Rogers taught us. I believe in the good in people.
The admin of the group gave no more information. I wrote back, and asked for proof. I asked what it said. I asked many question. I listed the definition of hate speech and told her I’d never in my life spoken or written a word that could fall into such a category.
I called my partner and told him hate speech was a serious accusation. I told him I was abhorred to be accused. I called my friend who is a lawyer and asked his advice. I thought about the words libel and slander. I thought about the fact that I was presumed guilty without any investigation.
It sent me into a spiral so bad, it made me glad this hadn’t happened a dozen years ago when I was at the worst of my depression.
The admin wrote me back and said Mary sent a screenshot of the presumed conversation between us. This told me something else: that person actually fabricated whatever I said, created a fake conversation, screenshotted it, and passed it off as real.
I sat there, alternately sobbing and sitting in baffled silence that anyone would do such a thing. That someone could be so hateful as to create a false narrative and pass it off as true.
And the worst part? Even though so many people have had problems with her, they chose to believe her over me.
It’s like a sh*tty movie of the week where the villain is too villainy and the main character is absurdly innocent but clearly being screwed over and yet the ones in charge can’t see.
I took it really hard.
At the end of the day, our character is all we have. It’s so important. It is out of the realm of possibility for me to use hate speech. That I would so quickly be presumed guilty shocked me. No investigation. No benefit of the doubt.
I was in disbelief a direct message conversation could be so easily fabricated, so my partner looked up online and found it is apparently incredibly easy. Which was disheartening.
This piece sucks and I’m sorry. My brain is melting. I’ve been through so much garbage in my life. Personally, physically, you name it. This was a new and revolting low. That someone would go to such lengths to make me look like this is devastating. Truly devastating.
I have no idea what the message said. I don’t know if that’s better or worse. It could be either or both.
I wrote to the admin and told them chat logs can be requested from Facebook. I told them I would screenshot every message between that person and I. I told them I would FaceTime them and show them the conversation in real time. I told them I’d do whatever I had to do to prove the truth.
And that’s another set of terrifying.
If this person would go to these lengths for seemingly no reason, what would she do when she was proven a liar? I feel sure the truth will come out in time, and I’m almost afraid for what will happen then. How much worse could it get? She has my address. This is terrifying.
All last night I was terrified. I was terrified of what she could do next; who she could hoodwink. What else she would fabricate to show people. And to what end? For what? Because she didn’t like that I stood up to her calling me names? Because I wouldn’t take her crap after being nice to her?
Then I got mad.
I don’t often get mad.
No one gets to treat me this way. The truth WILL come out. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I don’t want to be allowed back in the group; I don’t care about that. What I want is the truth brought to light, and I want the admin, the owner of the company the group is for, to apologize. That’s all I want.