I love video games. I love connecting with people. I have found writing to be a unique medium, particularly for someone like myself who has not historically had much luck with being heard in reality.
I’d be a fool not to see the connections there.
I can still remember the first person I told (out loud) that I wanted to write about video games for a living. That particular person (a gamer) actually laughed in my face. It was sort of uncomfortable as they realized (in stages) that I wasn’t kidding, and the rest of the conversation was awkward at best.
I’ve had similar responses from many people, for various reasons. I very recently had someone roll their eyes at me when I told them I write about video games…and that person plays video games.
The reasons I initially wanted to write about games are varied and run the gamut from simple (I love connecting people to games and starting discussions) to less so (wanting to be heard), but in the past couple of months I’ve seen that perhaps this playing field might not be for me.
It’s not one thing. It never is. But I’ve felt a strangeness brewing. I know there is adversity in nearly everything. You won’t always hear back from places you apply. You won’t always get your work seen. You won’t always be on a winning streak. You won’t always be making friends and you won’t always be the belle of the ball.
But I’ve recently begun to see what it would take to be a professional writer, and I have to say, I’m not sure it’s the path for me.
I had very specific goals when I started this website and began writing. I created a schedule and I never deviated from it, holidays and illnesses be damned. I’m proud of that consistency. I’m proud of coming up with content three times a week, and I’m exceedingly proud of the times I’ve written a piece that has started a conversation among others.
I’m grateful for each and every person who has read anything I’ve written. It’s sort of amazing, really, that of all the places you could be on the internet, you’ve ended up here, reading this. I give you my heartfelt thanks. You’ve made all the time and effort worth it.
I’m not sure exactly what I’m saying here. But I’m also not sure I’m necessarily cut out to write about video games in the way I thought I was. I hope I’m wrong, but in the meantime, this is my confusion and honesty.
I will be back here on Friday with actual game writing. Between now and then I’m all set for a mental tidy.
Thank you, folks, for being you, and being here. It means a ridiculous amount to me.