Embarrassing Memories: Wrap Skirt Edition

In 2000, I moved to Germany (where I lived for the next five years). My early time there was a huge learning process and I’m sure I had a hefty dose of culture shock. I did my best to learn the language and, far sooner than later, I came to love the country. Honestly, I miss it terribly.

There was a shopping mall (I use that term loosely because it wasn’t a lot like what I think of when I think of a shopping mall) in my small Bavarian town, and in one of the shops, I bought a rainbow striped wrap skirt. It was beautiful, whimsical, and reminded me of Fruit Stripe gum; I loved it. It fell to just below my knees, which just happens to be my favorite length.

I feel the need to qualify this (because the story is about to get visual and I don’t want to gross anyone out), but I used to be super in shape; a far cry from my current state.

I was in the grocery store one day while wearing my beautiful rainbow wrap skirt. I don’t even remember what aisle I was in, but I had bent down to look at something on a lower shelf. I saw a couple people (two guys) at the end of the aisle and they were giggling and trying not to make eye contact. I thought that was weird, but didn’t think much of it.

I stood up and continued shopping.

I noticed those same guys peeking back around the corner of the aisle, trying so hard not to lose it. I looked past where I was standing to see if there was something I was missing; I didn’t see anything particularly amusing so I thought maybe they were just having a fit of silliness.

I went back to my shopping. Another woman joined me in the aisle and I saw her look at me funny. I was like, OKAY WHAT’S GOING ON? I mean, in my mind I said that. She cautiously comes up to me and whispers, “Your skirt has come undone.”

I have NO IDEA how I didn’t feel that it had come untied but, sure enough, my ass was there in the middle of the store for everyone to see.

I

WAS

MORTIFIED

She started apologizing to me, and I was like, oh no, thank you for telling me! All the while I was frantically trying to retie it in some more permanent fashion. I had already knotted the tie when I put it on that morning, but apparently the skirt was intent on betraying me. As I was tying it, I saw those two guys laughing and laughing and I was like I HAVE TO GO HOME IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER and I hustled to the checkout and went home where I promptly changed into pants and threw the skirt away.

I think about it now and it’s funny. At the time, holy hell, I could not have BEEN more embarrassed.

What is an embarrassing moment from your past that was mortifying then, but funny now?

Also, if you wear a wrap skirt: BEWARE. THEY ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

2 replies »

  1. My story is not THAT embarassing but it’s the first one that comes to mind and I really hated at the time because I was really shy and hated to get attention, even if just a little.

    Anyway, so we were in the bus coming back from a school trip and teacher was distributing water to the students. But he was serving from a gallon of water into plastic cups. In a moving bus. OF COURSE he was going to drop water on someone or on the floor. It was matter of time. He comes down the aisle serving water to the students. One by one. All I have in my mind “he’s totally going to drop this thing on me”. I could feel it in my bones. Then he finally arrives on my row…and what happens? Yup, he drops a bunch of water on me. OF COURSE IT WAS ME! I KNEW IT! Everybody looks and laugh. Great! I was the only one on that bus to have water all over my shirt! He dropped ONLY ONCE and it was on me. i was the chosen one! I was so sure it was going to happen that I feel I bent reality just to make sure it would happen.

    Liked by 1 person

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