I’ve been playing a lot of The Division 2 lately, and, as with any game that will let me, I’ve been regularly using the in-game photo mode.

I do love my screenshots.

I was all set to do a Division 2 screenshot piece, but yesterday (and the day before, if we’re being honest) was a dumpster fire so I decided to go to sleep instead of waiting up for my screenshots to transfer to a USB drive. It might not seem like it would take long, but each time I back up new screenshots to the drive, it takes between 30 minutes to an hour; when you’re already falling asleep, it feels like longer.

So!

Instead of showing you all the rad screenshots I’ve been taking, I’m going to describe them to you and you can use your imagination to fill in what they look like.

Here we go!

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There are carnival lights in the foreground and a dilapidated carousel in the near background. The colors are red and blue and other shades of boardwalk. The area is decorated for the holiday season, but the surrounding area looks like summer. There is a glimpse of a soccer ball in the foreground and trash everywhere.

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Oh! This one’s really nice! It’s too bad you can’t see it!

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The intense red lighting here is striking. We are in a hallway leading to elevator shafts.

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This is my friend and I standing in the middle of an intersection. He is wearing an awful tank top and I am wearing a ridiculous orange and black shirt. In the background is a delivery truck with the advertisement: THE FUN STARTS WITH A DRINK OF COLA.

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This one is actually really slick. I was in a tunnel with aesthetic purple and blue lighting. There are inexpensive white plastic lawn chairs in the foreground and scraps of fabric hanging from the ducts. There is steam coming from somewhere.

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I’m standing next to a deer. I like deer.

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I’m rappelling and the light is behind me and I look very cool.

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I earned a trophy called Checking In. There are notifications all over my screen.

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There are giant Chinese dragons draped over wooden crates.

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This one is funny: the textures hadn’t loaded in (for a while, I might add) and the dumpster and tree near me look super barfy.

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I am at another carousel, only on this one, one of the horses has a traffic cone on his head like a very jaunty hat.

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I am inside a museum and there is a huge model of a lunar rover. It looks rad.

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A SPACESUIT.

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Dramatic lighting inside a hotel spa.

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A very David Lynch looking setup with a chair in front of a forest backdrop.

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My agent playing extreme frisbee on the White House lawn with the founding fathers.

I might be making that up but you don’t know, do you?

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My agent and Abe Lincoln blowing bubbles at each other in a field.

Is this made up? Who can say.

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And, finally, my agent dabbing on top of the Capitol Building (also made up, but, again, who can say?).

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I hope you enjoyed using your imagination and I hope to share the actual screenshots with you sooner than later. I expect over the coming weekend I will have far more to add to the collection.

Also, credit where credit is due, the image I used repeatedly above is by someone on reddit who goes by the name “cropped n skewed.” They made it as an update to the original Netscape broken image icon.

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This weekend I will be playing loads of The Division 2, as well as the original Borderlands (via PS Now).

With that I ask: what will YOU be playing this weekend?

Whatever you choose, please be safe out there, friends. Cheers!