A Painful Anniversary

Eight years ago today is a day that haunts me. I’m already crying.

F*cking yuck.

It was the last time I ever held my beautiful Esmeralda (it’s hard even typing or seeing her name).

This day is always hard for me. It never gets easier. I see it approach on the calendar and I know, I remember.

I ache for her.

Because my brain is filled with her and little else, I will do something I almost never do. I will refer to the piece I wrote about her last year.

If you are interested, you can find it here.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go administer more hugs and kisses than usual to Cloud.


Categories: musings

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6 replies »

  1. I miss her too.
    I just reread the piece that you wrote about her a year ago.
    I cried again.
    I remember sitting outside in the rain with her before she was allowed in the house. As a pack animal, I let her know she wasn’t alone.
    I remember the time she uncovered the birthday cake I made, & helped herself to a bite. (A big bite!)
    I remember how she would carefully unwrap the two rappers from the Ricola cough drops, never torn, just neat and tidy.
    Yes, I miss her too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh boy. I was unprepared for this.

      I remember all those things. I remember her sad, wet face at the back door and her allowance into the back porch area near the washer and dryer. I remember her eventual takeover of the house.

      I remember that birthday cake. I also remember her leaning over my plate and taking a whole donut, then carrying it to her blanket to eat. I remember a bite gone from each of the plums, scattered around the kitchen.

      I remember her fondness for Ricola. Sometimes I see them in the store and it makes me hurt. Sometimes it makes me smile. I never know which way it will go. I offered one to Cloud and he didn’t want it. Different creatures, different preferences.

      I know you miss her, too. She was amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lots of hugs to you <3 It's so hard losing a pet. I remember the last time I held my dog last year. I still miss him so much and it's still not any easier to think about him.

    Liked by 1 person

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