Even though I am a huge fan of a having a sense of occasion, I’m not terribly into Christmas. There’s a long, dumb story (or series of stories, really) behind that but, suffice to say, over the years I have been Christmas-ed right out.
Quick story time: many years ago my dad was out and about doing who knows what. A woman approached him and asked if he’d ever considered playing Santa…for money. He said he hadn’t. It turned out she was an agent; they exchanged information and wound up working together.
My dad did look strikingly like Santa. His hair has been white for as long as I can remember, and his silver beard has always been real. He was also always…in the correct shape to play the part.
Since the Santa bookings were all during the slow season for his regular business, the gig worked out well for him.
But at some point it overtook him. He got carried away by it. I mean, I’m glad he loved doing it, but after a while it started to get a bit over the top. He bought a car that was red and referred to it as his “sleigh.” I can recall a time I was returning home for the holidays from Germany and he and my mother picked me up at the airport (after I’d been traveling for over 24 hours) both in their Santa gear (at this point my mother had started accompanying him as Mrs. Claus). It was madness trying to get out of there; they were swamped with children and were handing out candy canes.
During some of those years, our actual Christmases were strange. Not terribly wonderful times.
Eventually I got burnt out on Christmas.
It wasn’t until I met my partner’s parents that I realized how fun Christmas could be. They love it. They have a tremendous sense of occasion, and it’s one of the many things I love about them.
So I’ve come around a bit on Christmas from my most cynical times.
I enjoy it with them. If it were just me, I wouldn’t care a whit about Christmas other than doing nice things for others.
When I found out that Dead Rising 4 was finally coming to PS4, I was excited to play it. When I found out it was releasing so close to Christmas, I was jazzed as hell; I love irreverent Christmas. I love the idea of all those silly weapons to take down zombies with.
Take this for example:
I have no idea what’s going on here, other than that it’s called a fish launcher and why wouldn’t I want to launch a pokey fish at my enemies?
Honestly. There’s no good reason not to.
And then there’s things like this:
It’s an ornament gun.
An ORNAMENT GUN.
IT’S LIKE A GATLING GUN OF ORNAMENTS.
I really hope as you shoot that thing, that it makes that weird metallic popping sound actual Christmas bulbs make when they are broken. I think that would be appropriately hilarious.
What’s even funnier (for me) about Dead Rising 4 is that it takes place in Willamette. Sure, in the game it’s Willamette, Colorado, but the Willamette River runs through my hometown; I always think about going home for the holidays, and through Dead Rising 4, I can kind of do that! I mean, sure, there are no zombies (that I know of) in the Pacific Northwest of my youth, but just sharing the name is enough to make me giggle.
I love irreverent Christmas.
I can’t wait to find all the other gonzo weapons, like the magic wand that lets me turn zombies into stacks of presents. Who wouldn’t want to do that? I mean, I also heard I can dress up like a shark and do all of these things.
A land shark.
I’m so sold.
So, this weekend, I hope to find myself tooling around Willamette, dispatching zombies in silly, festive ways.
What are you hoping to play this weekend?
Please be safe out there friends. Cheers!