Last night I dreamed about candy. Lots of it.

I must have been dreaming pretty hard, as when I woke up, my hair was in the “magical” category; it looked as though a small bird had found my head and had a delightful rest.

But enough about my voluminous hair.

In the dream, I was at a bookstore I frequent every time I go back to my hometown. In reality, that bookstore isn’t known for a candy selection. In my dream, there were bins and bins of candy. I was looking through each one and finding things I’ve never seen in reality.

It was pretty funny.

When I woke up I wondered: do Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Rice Krispies Treats actually exist?

(Fun fact: I just looked it up and they do!)

I love candy. I don’t eat it all that often. I try not to even buy it, as if I have it around, I’m going to want to consume it. I’ve found over the years that I need to avoid certain treats.

Jelly beans being one of them.

I like to only eat in moderation, so the rare times I do eat candy, I put them in a little glass bowl (so I can see everything I’m going to eat), and I go easy. Even if I do this with jelly beans, I almost immediately feel awful. My teeth feel furry, and I feel super spazzy. And I don’t mean like a sugar rush, I mean my heart starts to freak out and I feel unpleasant.

And no, I’m not diabetic.

I have strange early memories of candy; one incident in particular stands out where I couldn’t restrain myself from a specific treat.

I am a terrible judge of age, and most of my childhood memories are fuzzy, but I had to have been around six or seven. I was at the grocery store with my mother, and we were in the bulk food section.

I distinctly recall finding a bin of individually wrapped mint chocolates. They were a pale green oblong shape with a brown squiggle on top. I believe I took three of them and squirreled them away.

I know, I know. Stealing is bad and I certainly don’t advocate it. But please remember this happened an incredibly long time ago.

Back to the bulk section.

Growing up, we were very poor. I know some people say that, but we really were. One day I will write about it. That day isn’t today.

So I ate two of those presumably delicious mint chocolates. I knew we couldn’t afford them. I have no idea why I thought it would be okay to take them.

My mom saw the wrapper in my pocket and the still remaining third chocolate. She was very upset. She took me to the store manager and I had to apologize and confess what I’d done.

I remember feeling terrible shame. I knew we couldn’t afford candy. I think about this now and I feel retroactively even more embarrassed for embarrassing my mother. I can’t remember if we wound up paying for those three candies (or the two I ate, rather).

Maybe this is why I love candy but don’t often eat it. I mean, circus peanuts are the exception, as I love them and will eat them when they come my way, but I try to make them a rare-ish treat.

What am I even saying? I started with my ridiculous candy dream and now I’m regaling a childhood story of stealing.

Candy has all those beautiful colors and shapes and the promise of pressed sugar. It makes me think about Halloweens as a kid and the bounty and generosity of strangers. It makes me think about the last real job I had and the candy I kept around for anyone who wanted it in a glass jar that looked like a Ziplock bag (it was pretty cool looking). I see pictures of lollipops and think about the rare trips to Disneyland as a kid. Those impossibly large unicorn-looking lollipops.

Now, I’m more of a plain marzipan person. I have been for a while.

But that dream had so many beautiful colors and shapes. It made me want to paint some huge canvas with bright colors and abstract candy shapes. Perhaps I will sometime soon.

I guess when I think of candy, I think of children having fun; even though my own childhood wasn’t what I’d call fun, the thought makes me smile. Who doesn’t smile when they get candy? I mean, the phrase “a kid in a candy store” is ubiquitous for a reason.

So, friends, I’d pass you a handful of candy if I could. Let’s all be kids together.

What are your favorite types of candy? It probably seems like a silly question, but I’d love to know. What are some of your candy-related memories?

For me, circus peanuts are at the top. I love them. I love their yielding texture and sugary and banana-y flavor. I mean, sure, I have to brush my teeth almost immediately after eating them, but I adore them. Cotton candy is a close second. One day, if we ever live in a house and have a bit more storage space, I’d love to get a little cotton candy machine. Although that could be dangerous. But a whole lot of fun. :)