Ghost Recon: Wildlands may have released in March of this year, but I’ve only recently gotten around to dabbling in it. I tried out the beta and wasn’t impressed, but something about the game made me want to pick it up when I saw it on sale a few weeks back.

I’m glad I did, but several things about the game so far rate pretty high on my silly meter (sillometer?). Here are but a few.

One of the first things I noticed was the dialogue. I’m not sure Ubisoft has ever been known for stellar dialogue, but the back and forth of the characters in the cutscenes is pretty cringey. I’ve seen lots of “sh*t” and “f*ck” thrown in for color, even if it doesn’t always make sense. Also, didn’t The Division start off with a cutscene of a lady in a helicopter, too?

Deja vu.

The character creator was baffling. I had only a handful of options for my hair (none of which were all that great), but I had dozens of options for patches on my strictly cosmetic backpack? Or a dozen choices of slightly differing pants? And don’t even get me started on the tattoo options.

Okay, I’ve gotten myself started on the tattoo options.

In reality, I’ve rarely seen someone with a neck tattoo. Even less have I seen someone with a full on face tattoo. In Wildlands, you have options for both. That reminded me of The Division again. Did Ubisoft spend a ton on in-game rendering of face and neck tattoos and want to get their money’s worth? In the first cutscene of the game, we are introduced to the main antagonist…who has a very busy full face and head tattoo.

Color me puzzled.

Much of the gameplay feels fine, but there are a few things I don’t understand.

Like how operating almost any vehicle is a one way trip to struggletown. Riding a motorbike was doable. Yay. Driving a car was a bit wonky, but doable. Flying a helicopter was super awkward, but doable.

But holy mother of good gravy, flying an airplane is d*mn near impossible.

I was trying to do a side mission and had to fly a plane to a particular location. Easy enough, right?

That’s what I thought.

So I climbed in the plane and my co-op partner got in the passenger seat. I took off. That went okay. But when I realized I had to turn left (that’s it, just turn left, no big deal), things got interesting. And by interesting I mean they went running headlong into chaos.

I tried to turn. It looked like I was an uncoordinated pelican. I tried again. It didn’t work. I tried even harder and I did a 360, which, honestly, I felt pretty cool about. I eventually got on the right trajectory to the waypoint. My co-op partner said to me that he thought I need to land at a specific place coming in from a certain angle.

Fat friggin’ chance.

When I tried my best to get the plane to the waypoint, I not only did another 360 (unplanned this time), but did a direct faceplant (noseplant?) into the ground.

I

was

hysterical.

No joke. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. I super thought I killed us, but I didn’t. When the words MISSION FAILED popped up on the screen I d*mn near lost it. It was one of the funniest things I’ve seen myself fail at (in spectacular fashion) in a game in a long while. I wish I’d taken a video clip of it.

I mean, to be fair, I’ve never been great at racing games specifically, but I never had terrible issues driving in non-driving games (e.g.: Far Cry, Dead Island). I did just fine with the gyrocopter in Far Cry 4. But I am not good at flying that Wildlands plane. Here’s hoping I don’t have to do it too often.

I’m glad I gave Wildlands a chance, and I’m looking forward to playing more of it.

This weekend, I’m hoping to get in some more Dark Souls 3, Wildlands, and perhaps some more of the Destiny 2 beta (my partner wants to do the strike). I also would like to push on through a bit more Wolfenstein: The New Order. That’s a pretty full docket. I will also be farming for a particular weapon in Borderlands 2 to pass along to a friend who has never heard of it or seen it in action (Blockhead FOREVER!).

With that I ask, what will you be playing this weekend?