I’ve now had over three months of virtual gamelessness. I mean, sure, I never thought I’d be sick this long, and I surely never thought I wouldn’t have gamed pretty much at all in that span. Yet here I am, with perhaps a half a dozen hours of gaming under my belt since January.
I’m not going to lie: it’s depressing.
It depressing enough to be a perpetual couch barnacle but, today, I realized I hadn’t been outside in four days. The sun was so bright (even through my sunglasses), I felt like one of those weird blind creatures that lives underground and navigates by sound alone. I forgot how fresh air on my face feels.
It was strange.
Even if I had known I would be sick, I would have assumed I’d at least be able to play games during that time.
After my failed experiment the other day with an hour of Borderlands, I realized how very unnerved I was that I really can’t play right now. The bulk of the games I play are FPS games. Without those, my gaming landscape would be a vastly different space. I love games of all types, but I do find myself in the shooter genre more often than not.
It may sound paranoid, but I started to worry about what would happen if I could just never play games again. I know that’s entirely unlikely, but I was concerned about it none the less. How would my life be different?
I love games dearly, and without those experiences, I’d be a little heartbroken. Games are a way to explore and experience and connect. Without that as a possibility, I would be amiss.
To be fair, there are plenty of slower more text-based games I could be trying my hand at, I just haven’t. Honestly, it’s been for fear of not being able to play those, either. I have no shortage of games I could at least try, but I am nervous. I want to get back to this area of my life that I love, especially if I can barely go outside once or twice a week.
I want to have experiences again.
One of the things I’ve been wanting to do more and more is paint again. My medium of choice is acrylic on canvas (I like canvases that are at least 36×48), and I currently have all these color combinations rolling around in my head. I’m a huge fan of abstract art, and I’m hoping to put some of those thoughts to canvas in the coming months. I want to see those colors in front of me on the walls and not just in my mind.
I’d also like to be singing and playing the piano more again. My background (and passion) is in musical theatre, and it feels more and more like I need to be giving further attention to that. I’ve suppressed it for far too long.
So this got me thinking, what would all of us be doing if we weren’t playing games? I mean, if games weren’t an option, what would you be doing? What would be your ideal replacement activities? How would you feel if you wanted desperately to play, but couldn’t? Would you keep trying even if it made you feel miserable, physically?
Also, what will you be playing this weekend? I’m living through all of you right now, so please spare no detail. Your gaming is my brain food.