I’ve made no secret of my affection for Destiny. Since the Alpha, I’ve played a ridiculous amount of the game, and my enthusiasm hasn’t waned much (with a couple of exceptions) over the past two plus years.

I had high hopes for Rise of Iron. I was super looking forward to making that final push to light level 400, and I was especially looking forward to the raid.

Nothing has played out quite the way I planned.

Allow me to divert myself here just a bit. As I was thinking about all these things today, I recalled a piece I wrote earlier this year that had oddly similar tones. I reread it this morning and it nails my feelings on the RNG (random number generator) and how playing with other people can present unforeseen issues. I’m not sure I could state my confusion, and disappointment, with the RNG any better than I did there, so I will leave the deep dive of my dissatisfaction in that piece.

My overall Destiny “sad” has a few facets.

#1: Getting Screwed By The RNG

It is now easier than ever to level up in various ways in Destiny.

Every one of those ways has let me down abysmally.

Every time I level up with the Vanguard, I get one thing that isn’t even infusable into my current gear. I level up with my faction (in this case, Dead Orbit), and I get one thing that also isn’t usable to level up my character. I level up with the Crucible and the same thing happens.

Meanwhile, everyone else I play with gets multiple items from rank up packages that help them continue to climb the ranks. I have gone full days of play with no rank up in sight.

I do the strikes, I do Crucible matches, I do whatever I can, and still I get boned on the rewards. It gets so frustrating, I can’t tell you.

Except I’m telling you.

Not only that, but when it comes to rewards for various activities, some of the people I play with are seemingly blessed with stellar RNG luck. It makes it all the more obvious that I am getting screwed when I see what everyone else gets as they get it. Sometimes, I even hear them complain when they get what they want but they happen to see someone else get something else that they want.

I can’t win.

Add to this that the only thing I super wanted from Rise of Iron was the Thorn bounty so I could get my beloved third year hand cannon and I still haven’t gotten the bounty to pop. I found out yesterday that two of the people I play with most, somehow already got the bounty in the last week and one of them already finished it!

Getting the short end, once again. That’s me.

I understand not everything will always go my way in Destiny, but having even a couple small things go my way would be amazingly appreciated.

#2: Raid Team Woes

I was unspeakably happy when I finally was able to assemble a regular raid team for Wrath of the Machine. Things haven’t been entirely smooth on that front, and, among scheduling silliness, most of us aren’t as leveled as we’d like to be. Last night we got to Aksis (the final boss), but we just couldn’t beat him.

I feel cautiously hopeful that, provided we are all present and ready, we can defeat him next week. I suppose time will tell.

#3: Crucible Confusion

I am painfully aware that I’m not good at the Crucible. Oh, I’ve had a few good matches here and there, but I’m pretty sure those were due to luck.

In an ironic turn of events, I somehow always end up regularly playing Destiny with someone who is ridiculously good at competitive multiplayer. Though unintentional, it only makes my inadequacies that much more glaring.

However.

When even my highly skilled teammates are having issues with the Crucible, I know something is up.

I can be a higher light level than someone in Iron Banner (when light level matters), and I can melee them in the face and it doesn’t kill them. They then melee me back and I am the one who dies.

I can be meleed out of my super. That never used to happen. Who knows how it can, now.

I can stick a grenade to someone and it won’t kill them. Worse yet, sometimes it doesn’t even damage them.

Often, lately, I’ve spawned and been immediately killed by someone standing there. I don’t begin to think I know how coding works, but I sincerely hope Bungie finds a way to fix that one.

I understand lag will be an issue here and there, but lately it has been horrible. And most definitely not in my favor.

You’d think the laws of chance would occasionally put it in my favor, but nope.

.

I have been having the worst time getting leveled up. I’m starting to wonder what I’m trying so hard for. I understand Bungie wants to bake in the concept that you have to grind to level up and do the endgame content (keep playing our game, kids!), but I’m starting to lose my way. I’m just not sure it’s worth it.

And it’s making me super cranky.

I’m not sure where I go from here.

Who am I kidding? I know I will keep playing, even if I massively taper off.

I’m just in a really foul mindset about the game. I wish I wasn’t, but I am.

Have you ever put insane amounts of time into a game and been frustrated most of that time? If so, which game? Did you keep going or did you stop playing entirely?