Status Report: Week 43 (Confession)

I know I’ve talked about being in a rut over the past few weeks, but, over the last week, it reached a bit of a weird fever pitch. As many of you know, I struggle with chronic health issues, and often get sick on top of it. Over a week ago, I thought I was getting a simple cold, but it felt strange. By midweek, I not only wasn’t feeling well, but I began feeling like I was in a dense and frustrating brain fog. It could be for many reasons, but it’s been enough days in a row now that I feel like I may never see the end of it. It’s making nearly everything difficult from mundane tasks to more thoughtful endeavors, such as writing.

Basically, I’m struggling quite hard with focusing on anything. I haven’t wanted to play games or read, which is completely strange for me. It’s my favorite time of year and Halloween is my favorite holiday; this is the perfect setup for wanting to play Destiny 2’s Festival of the Lost, yet I’ve barely felt like playing each day. I haven’t wanted to play anything at all really.

Allow me to qualify that; I want to play so many things, but right now I can’t find the energy to play anything.

This brain fog is also making me feel deeply stupid; it’s starting to concern me. I know, logically, this will pass, but right now it’s worrisome. I don’t like not being able to concentrate on anything and I certainly don’t enjoy feeling stupid.

So, on Thursday and Friday when I said I was simply “taking the day off,” what I was really doing was struggling so badly to write or come up with topics that I had to write about the fact that I wasn’t really writing about anything. I’m sorry for that.

I’ve been chronically ill for over 20 years, and having anxiety and depression on top of it isn’t ideal, but this recent brain fog nonsense is new and concerning. Not being able to come up with topics is a frustrating situation for me, and one I don’t care to have show up again.

I felt the need to be straight with each of you.

I sincerely hope this fog dissipates sooner than later, but I will continue writing throughout. If I seem less coherent than usual, at least now you understand why.

This week, I have no idea how much I will be playing or what I will be playing. I keep trying to check in on Destiny 2 for the Festival of the Lost, but my attention span has been short at best. I’d love to say I will be back at it and playing all kinds of things, but the realist in me doesn’t know how feasible that plan is.

What will you be playing this week? Please let me live vicariously through you while I toil in this brain funk. I’d love to hear about what you’re playing, what you’ve played, and what you’re looking forward to playing. Will you be getting Red Dead Redemption 2 when it releases on Friday?

Thank you in advance for being understanding. I hope the fog lifts soon. <3

Please be safe out there, friends. Cheers.

10 replies »

  1. Brain fog is, in my experience, an unfortunate side-effect of depression and anxiety. I occasionally find myself afflicted with it. When it happens, I end up either not doing anything at all, just staring at a wall or the ceiling (depending on my orientation at the time of the fog) or, if I’m near a computer, just cycling around the same two or three websites constantly without actually really reading anything or contributing anything.

    It happens. When it hits hard, there’s not a huge amount you can do about it, unfortunately, save from try to make a concerted effort to do *something* — anything. I’m usually conscious of it happening when it occurs, like I’m looking at myself from “outside”, but it takes a real effort to actually break through it and force myself to do something. When I eventually do, though, it inevitably feels better — but sometimes you just need to ride it out before that’s even possible.

    I hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t doubt it at all. What fun both those things bring. BLURG.

      That sounds AWFULLY similar to what I’ve been doing.

      You are 100% correct with all that. I definitely need to force myself to do something different, gaming-wise.

      Thank you. I really appreciate that. <3

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been trudging (in a good way) through Saints Row 2, and dancing all night with Persona 4: Dancing All Night.

    Hope you get over this funk soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I always feel weird about hitting the like button when someone reveals they are sick or having a hard time but I did it anyways so you at least know I was listening. I hope you feel better soon.

    As for what I’ll be playing, after falling off of Destiny 2 after Curse of Osiris, I decided I should at least play Warmind (since I had bought it with the season pass) and it turns out… I kind of missed Destiny and Warmind was a huge step up from Osiris. So, now I’ve bought Forsaken and the new Season Pass so I can fall back in to the Destiny hole.

    On top of that, I’ve returned to NHL 18 (I can’t justify 19 since I played so little of 18 and it too is very good). Also, I’m trying to wrap up my streaming playthrough of The Evil Within before Halloween. And then… Red Dead Redemption 2 comes out Friday.

    Liked by 1 person

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