Well, let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: I’m still sick. I’m still not sleeping correctly or often. To be fair, it’s difficult to rest when you can barely breathe.

I’ve been taking all my ‘quils (both Day and Ny), I’ve been drinking my Theraflu (not my preference, but it helps a little), drinking plenty of liquids, and often drinking broth as my preferred meal. I can only hope this week brings improvement.

I wasn’t playing as regularly as I’d hoped to be over the last week and weekend. Friday brought some gaming crankiness, and that just grew as the weekend matured.

But one dumb thing sticks out to me: I’m starting to feel like I’m bad at games.

Logically, I know that probably isn’t true. I think the unfortunate pairing of my illness with a somewhat difficult activity in Destiny 2 has resulted in my feeling that way.

But I still feel bad at games right now.

When playing Destiny 2 (or the first Destiny, for that matter), I often play with the same group of four people. Every one of them is a strong player, and all three of them are good at the Crucible (with one of them being very good at the Crucible). On Friday, they did the prestige Nightfall without me…and succeeded. I’m glad for them, honestly I am, but I felt left out and I was bummed I didn’t get to do it, too.

Saturday, three of us tried to do it twice, and we failed both times. It was disheartening. I started to wonder if it was me; was I the weak link here?

Then yesterday, Sunday, three of us tried to do it again, and were pretty close honestly, but still failed.

I was disappointed in myself.

That was also coming on the heels of trying to do Trials again…which is never an activity I enjoy.

Trials is the ultimate form of the Crucible and, goodness gracious, I am out of my element. I mean, I try, and sometimes I do okay, but yesterday I just felt like I was useless. After I logged off in the afternoon to eat and take a nap (I was never able to sleep, but that’s par for this particular course, sickness-wise), I found myself getting more and more irritated at myself. I was asking myself questions like: why aren’t you better? Why can’t you overcome these obstacles easier? Why why why?

In short, I made myself feel very crappy, very quickly.

Maybe I need to take a Destiny 2 breather. Until I can breathe correctly, at least. Then again, maybe I need to push through?

I don’t know.

I’m also getting a little annoyed with Bungie on some issues that still aren’t patched out like items not registering when you pick them up (e.g.: consumables and chest rewards), and excessive duplicate engram rewards (e.g.: I received three identical sets of gauntlets in a row at one sitting). My Hunter is my main and I’ve played the most time with her. In all that time, I’ve only ever gotten exotic leg armor, no other exotic armor to help me level up (excepting one helmet everyone gets to choose at one point). Each time I get my weekly rewards, they are for power weapons I don’t use (e.g.: snipers), or more legs. The other people I play regularly with get lovely drops and I’m stuck at the same light and can’t level up because Bungie seemingly thought they would make the upgrade system take a large step backwards. I hope upon hope they patch it in the future so you can infuse kinetic into kinetic, energy into energy, and power into power. Right now, if you want to upgrade an auto rifle, you must use an auto rifle. If you want to upgrade a sword, you must use a sword. If the RNG isn’t on your side (this is certainly the case for me), you are, basically, screwed. So while there are people in my clan over light level 300, I’m still below it, no matter how much grinding I’ve done. Everyone else is getting exotic engrams, and I went five days without seeing a single one while doing the same activities.

Destiny 2, it’s not me, it’s you.

At least a little.

So, this week, I need to try to figure out if I should take a break from Destiny 2. Or, if I should suck it up, deal with it, and keep trying. The jury is still out.

On Friday, I watched a couple of horror movies I’d been wanting to get to, and I hope to knock a few more out this week!

Also, October is upon us and I’m definitely in the Halloween spirit! If I feel better, I will continue my decorating plans. :)

With that I ask: what are you hoping to play this week? Any other plans on your radar you are looking forward to?