I love Overwatch. I love so many things about it. I love the game itself as well as connecting with others to play it in tandem. I love the cooperation.

All that being said, I find myself at a point with the game where I wonder if I should even continue playing it. It’s a crap mindset to be in.

I don’t take Overwatch too seriously, but during matches, I am focused on the objective. Since the beginning, there has been an influx of players who not only don’t seem to care about the objective, but are increasingly choosing multiples of the same character which makes the entire match a struggle. I’m sure the people who choose multiples think it’s a good time, but for the rest of the people in the match, it’s often frustrating.

I wish I had a steady team of six, but I don’t, and I’m not sure I ever will (certainly not with that attitude!). With people’s schedules all over the map, it’s hard enough to connect with one or two people, let alone five other people on a regular basis.

I watched some videos yesterday of full teams playing competitive and I was envious of their synergy. Everyone was on point and doing what they needed to do for whatever map they were on.

It was delightful.

I have recently seen my frustrations spike during gameplay. I used to think I was decent at Overwatch, but the last week has left me feeling butt hurt and uncertain. There are stretches of matches where I feel like it’s a constant uphill battle, and that gets old. The pinnacle of my frustrations came over the weekend when a very talented opposing Widowmaker sniped me in the spawn point every single time I tried to exit the building (on Route 66).

I’m not questioning that the person was a good player, but those are some gross tactics that I will never get behind. I’m not ever going to go right up to the spawn and kill people before they even enter the field of play.

That’s just not my style.

A constant struggle is getting people to remember to work toward the objective. So many times I’ve seen people near a point instead of on it and the match is lost because the only person actually on the point has died. I think the team deathmatch mentality is so ingrained in online multiplayer, that some people out there forget that it’s not just about killing the other team, it’s about, once again, the objective.

I say these things, and I also understand I am by no means a perfect Overwatch player. Not even close. But I do try my best, and I especially try to communicate and coordinate with my team, no matter the size.

I got so frustrated last night with various aspects of what was going on that I had to step away from the game. It would have been silly had I not been so frustrated. I had to question if it was worth it to play a game that was causing me such an accelerated heart rate.

I honestly don’t know. But I do know I would have a hard time putting Overwatch aside.

I love the characters. Blizzard has created some of the most unique characters in any online multiplayer I’ve seen. Zenyatta, the healer is an entirely unique character. Zarya is strong and imposing. Pharah is powerful and mobile.

I could go on and on about the various heroes, but you get the idea.

I enjoy the gameplay of the different characters. They are simple to pick up and play, but difficult to master. I’ve recently taken to playing as Zarya and I can tell already that if I stick with the game, I’m going to turn to her as my top tank pick. She is all about balance and timing and I like that challenge.

My love of the heroes is carrying over into reality: I’m considering getting a Zarya haircut in the near future, but leaving my color alone. That should be interesting. Just look at this amazing piece of fan art of her I found online:

I am often mesmerized by Pharah’s strength and beauty. She has made me wish I could cosplay more than any other character. Her various skins and looks have made me think about how I could replicate those looks with certain types of makeup. I’d love to try.

It’s not often that a game makes me want to improve myself, but the strength of Overwatch’s female characters has me inspired in a way I didn’t think possible.

I can’t leave a game like that behind so soon, can I?

I am conflicted.

When the game is being played by all in a fair manner, it’s hard to top this particular online multiplayer experience. When people are being spammy and scummy and ignoring the objective, it can be one of the most frustrating games out there. I continue to try to find a balance, but I can’t seem to put my finger on it.

I can only hope that I compile a steady team and that, with time, a more consistently rewarding experience is created.

Have you ever found yourself torn on playing a game due to frustration? If so, which game? How did you end up navigating those waters?