Happy Birthday To Me (Oh David Cage, You Crazy…)

david cage 01

Last night I stayed up so late I saw the sun come up (figuratively). I had been playing Destiny with one of my favorite folks and the time flew by. Today being my birthday, I thought: screw it! It’s my birthday. I’m an adult. I can stay up as late as I want.

I ended up flopping into bed just before 7am. I am aware, as someone in my mid-ish thirties, that 7am is a bit too late to go to bed. Oh well. It happened. I also ate Jack In The Box at midnight. That happened. Now it can’t un-happen.


So when I woke up and got out of bed today at 4pm (yes, you read that correctly) I was decidedly groggy. I was incredibly thirsty, hungry, and in need of a shower. As I got up, I had that nagging feeling that I was forgetting something.

I pushed it off, went to the sink and started brushing my teeth. The feeling got stronger.

Birthday. Teeth brushing. Friday? Oh crap! Friday!

It was then that I realized I needed to post a piece to my site today, and I recalled exactly what I had planned to write, though you won’t find that fully thought out piece here. Instead you will find what you are kindly reading.

Every time I think of birthdays, teeth brushing, or awkward video game sex, David Cage is at the forefront of my mind.

David Cage, the head of Quantic Dream, is unquestionably a talented man. Quantic Dream (Heavy Rain, Beyond Two Souls) has created some of the most visually stunning games of the last generation. His devotion to bringing an alternate form of storytelling to the medium does not go unnoticed.

But the dude has some odd hang-ups.

I’ve brought these things to the attention of a couple of friends who enjoy his games and each one has said something to the effect of “…interesting…”

That about sums it up.

david cage bingo

In searching for an image of Cage for this post, I found the above image, “David Cage Bingo.” This means there are far more of us out there that notice the trends of Cage’s pet topics than I had thought. Granted, teeth brushing may not be on the bingo card, but I feel vindicated that both awkward sex and parties made it in.

I completely understand that this is one of my most random posts, and that’s just fine by me. Not every piece can be concise and smooth. This one is what it is: a weird little piece on a weird (but talented) dude from France who loves his birthday parties. He loves teeth brushing so much that he makes you (the player) go through the supremely boring motions of doing what you do on a daily basis in each of his games.

There’s nothing silly about dental hygiene. Especially with all the Mountain Dew people think gamers drink. (Spoiler: we don’t.)

This has been an exceptional birthday so far, and I’ve yet to play anything since I woke up at the crack of late afternoon. Trust I will remedy that by this evening.

Thank you friends for stopping by, and I assure you, on Monday I hope to provide you with a moderately informative piece that makes sense. Let’s not all hold our breath. But it’s good to have hopes.


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